Chapter
One
Death. It’s a funny word, both in comedy and
irony. Funny as in it’s an obvious punch
line and ironic because we’re all going to die.
Funny.
What’s
truly funny about death is the undying (excuse the pun) obsession with what is to
happen to us after we die. Will we spend
eternity in a golden kingdom, or in fire and brimstone? Will we become one with the universe, or
perish into nothingness. There are
hundreds of hypothesis surrounding our fate, but no one truly knows the
answer…well, until I, and perhaps others like me, made a discovery. I know the truth about death; the truth about
our fate. It’s not as simple as just
telling though; no, this tale really needs to be told in detail to be
understood. Not easy being the guy with all
the answers….
My
name is Jacob Taylor, but most people call me Jake. I come from a place you’ve probably never
heard of, but will soon not forget.
Middletown, Maryland; the epitome of all that is cut from the cookie
sheet known as white, suburban America.
Middletown
was founded in 1779 by George Washington, and by that I mean first President of
the United States George Washington.
This town has seen most domestic wars and all movements crucial to the
history of this country. Basically what I’m getting at is this town
sucks and I hate living here. It’s
boring, old, and secluded from the rest of the world. I will admit though it does have its charm. Plenty of old buildings and ghost stories
keep a limited amount of tourist traffic.
I’m
22 years old and live with my parents.
We live in an old brick house on Broad St. My Dad is a lawyer, which means he’s a dick, but
I love him anyway. My Mom is a music
teacher which explains why I’m so talented in that particular medium of
artistic expression. Please don’t mind
my conceit, but just being honest. I
have an older sister, Emma, who’s married to the Mayor, so add another dick
into the equation. We’re one big happy
family.
Much
to my Father’s dismay I attend the County Community College with a major in
English. Dad always wanted me to follow
in his footsteps, go to an Ivy League school and use my so called intellect for
something productive like law or medicine, but I decided to take the spiteful
route.
I
regularly surround myself with the same three characters, and characters they
are. We’ve all been friends since we
were kids and I couldn’t imagine life without them, though if I try I can
sometimes get a split second of bliss.
There’s Donnie, or Don for short.
He’s a tall, well built mechanic who decided to bypass college and go
straight into the family business of fixing things. Don is the kind of guy that you rarely see
out of his work attire, so he’s usually covered in grease and sweat. One thing you’ve got to love about the man is
his inability to form a sentence. He
consistently stutters words that are longer than two syllables. He may not be
the brightest bulb in the box but he’s got a big heart, and is a great friend.
Next there’s Mindy. Now, science would dictate that Mindy is in
fact a woman due to the lack of certain organs and the presence of others, but
don’t let basic anatomy fool you. Mindy
is by all accounts a dude and has and always will be one of the guys. Mindy dresses like a man, acts like a man,
and talks like a man. She watches
football, plays video games, drinks beer, and spits. Every once and a while you’ll catch her
saying something like “I think Brad Pitt is sexy” and you’ll feel really
awkward, but it’s a feeling that we all got used to. Mindy works at the local Super Market, which
being the 21st century you’d think would be a little bigger and have
a better selection, but that’s beside the point. She’s saving up to go to California to go to
college. Why she wants to go all the way
out there I don’t know…maybe for the warm weather, beaches, and all around
better life. Go figure.
Last but not least
there’s Beanie. Of course that’s not his
real name, in fact I don’t think I remember his real name, but we call him Beanie
in reference to the tri-colored knit beanie he always wears. He’s been wearing it since I met him when we
were kids. I’m sure he’s purchased new ones
over the years, but a strange phenomenon none the less. Beanie goes to the same school as me and
studies philosophy. He’s a pseudo intellectual,
wannabe artist, hipster who frequents underage poetry jams, often quotes lines
from Belle
et Sébastien, and refers to movies by saying things like “Have you seen the new
Tim Burton presents?” Oh…and he’s a
flaming closeted homo sexual.
We frequent a
local diner called “Manny’s” on main street.
It’s a hangout spot for all the locals of all ages to take a load off
after work. Manny’s has pool, arcade
games, darts, and food that will line your stomach with a coat of grease that
will make you immune to any and all forms of hangover. It’s divine.
Most nights we end up at Manny’s for a beer and fries, and the night of
November 11th was no different.
At 8:00 pm I put
on my black pea coat and headed down stairs from my room to leave and meet up
with the gang at Manny’s. My Dad was
watching the local news when I entered the living room. The big story for the past few weeks in our
town was that of a serial car jacker in the area. Exciting right? Nothing ever happens in this town so it’s a
big deal for its residents, but I personally think it’s necessary to try and
liven up the dull lives of the townsfolk.
Before I could step out the door my Dad stopped me and said “Did you
hear about this car jacking string?
Don’t go getting our car stolen Jake!”
That was his way of telling me that he doesn’t want anything bad to
happen to me. “Don’t worry Pops, I’ll
walk” He grinned and turned back to the
television as I walked out the door.
The walk to Manny’s isn’t that
bad, just a few blocks. It was snowing
lightly, but was tolerable. I turned
down Park street, and you guessed it, it’s named that because there’s a park on
the street. Clever Middletownseians.
Across the street
from the park is an old, colonial style house that’s been vacant for 40 years
or so. The house has been dubbed “Finch
Manor” after the family who lived there for generations. 40 years ago there was a fire at Finch manor,
nothing huge and was easily extinguished according to the story, but
unfortunately the youngest daughter did not survive. She died from breathing in smoke from what I
know. After that the family decided they
no longer wanted to live in the town, but never offered the home up for sale. The town can’t actually do anything about it
either because of some landmark clause in the bi-laws preventing them from touching any building of
a certain age.
Every time I would
walk past the house I got sort of an uneasy feeling. Like there was someone watching me from the
vine covered window. I could swear
sometimes I would hear someone crying coming from the inside, and sometimes had
an uncontrollable urge to investigate, but I’ve never been the brave type.
As I walked past
Finch Manor on Park street this particular night I didn’t even look at it. I ignored its very existence and sped up when
I approached it as to not have that feeling for longer than 10 seconds. Told you I’m not the brave type.
I got to Manny’s
at 8:17 pm. Don was playing pool by
himself and Beanie was in the corner talking to some underage girls trying to
whoa them with his false intellect. You
see it’s easy to quote Shakespeare to a young girl who doesn’t know any better
and make her think you’re smart, and Beanie, though clearly a homosexual, uses
it to his advantage (to hide the fact that he’s gay…shhh!).
"See, how she
leans her cheek upon her hand! O that I
were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!” Beanie quoted as
he brushed his hand across one of the young girls cheeks. She looked at him with wide eyes and an
obvious non-understanding of what the hell it was he just said, but the fact it
sounded good made her soil herself for him.
“You’re so artistic.” She said. I
couldn’t handle much more of this. I
approached Beanie and swung my arm over his shoulders as he attempted to seduce
this girl.
“You know ladies; Shakespeare
had a mass inferiority complex which is why he could never hold down a
relationship and died alone and miserable with his hand around his dick.” I
said as Beanie’s eyes began to roll. “Feel free to go home and Google it” I
added. The girls got up and started
walking away. I shouted more quotes to
them just to be an ass; “Good night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall
say good night till it be morrow.”
Beanie was less than pleased.
With my arm around his shoulder I turned him toward a table and said
“Look at the bright side Bean, now you won’t have to succumb to the all mighty
list of offenders that will always and forever prevent you from doing, well,
anything!” Beanie sighed and responded
“You’re an asshole”. “I know”, I said.
Don joined us at
the table with beers for each of us. He
began his usual conversation about how his day went and I of course showed no
interest. “Today was brutal”, said
Don. “Oh yeah?”, said Beanie, “Tell us
about it.” He did this unpurpose because
he knows I can’t stand hearing about Don’s day at the shop. It’s not that I don’t care about his job it’s
just…ok it is that I don’t care. Don’t
get me wrong I love the guy but anything automotive is foreign to me. I’m not much of a man. “Someone brought in a car to have the tranny
looked at and it turned out to be one of the cars that was jacked. I called the cops and the guy took off and I
had to spend like 3 hours filling out a report.” Said Don. “Really?” I said, “three hours Don?” Don had a way of exaggerating every story
into more than it was. “Yeah three
hours. It was brutal. I can’t believe I actually saw the guy who
has been steelin’ all those cars. What a
crazy situuashin” “You mean “situation”? I said.
Beanie lashed out at me, “Don’t be a dick Jake! Don had a crazy day; can’t you show some
interest in your friend’s experience?” I
paused for two beats and gently replied “No” and took a sip of my beer.
“You guys talking
about that serial car thief?” said Mindy as she approached the table to sit
down. “No we’re talking about how he
almost killed Don today” I said. “You
were jacked by him too Don?” Mindy asked.
Don replied “No I saw him at work and…nevermind” and he took a sip of
his beer. Mindy had a seat. “I heard he’s been targeting Japanese cars,
so you had better be careful not to get your parents car stolen bro” she said
to me with a sarcastic rouse. “Anyway so
dudes check it out I’ve been applying to these schools in California” said
Mindy as she pulled out brochures. “USC
would be the ideal school because of its programs but San Diego would be
awesome because of location. I would be
able to skate and surf in the same day!
Sweet right?” We all glared at
the brochures with different opinions.
“I would personally go to Berkley, a lot of great minds went there.”
Said Beanie, to which I replied, “I’m sure they wouldn’t want anything less
which is why you’re still here” Don was
staring at the USC brochure. “I like
this one” he said, “there’s a lot of cool looking buildings.” Mindy rolled her eyes at Don and looked at
me; “What do you think bro?” she
said. “Well I mean they’re all good
schools Mindy, but California? Living
costs are high and there’s always earthquakes and movie stars driving drunk…I
don’t know” “You’re always such a downer
dude!” she said to me as she grabbed the brochure back from my hand. “Ok ok enough of this crap let’s get drunk” I
said to which the other three praised and cheered.
We stayed at
Manny’s until midnight, drinking beers and making sarcastic remarks to one
another. We got up and walked out
together. “See you dorks later!” said
Don. “Good one Don, good insult there”
Said Mindy. “Peace out bros. Come by the store tomorrow and hang out so I
don’t overdose on ho-hos out of boredom” Mindy does love her some processed
cake treats.
“Do you need a
ride sir?” said Beanie while bowing next to his car. “I don’t think I could ever get into a car
alone with you Beanie…you weird, sad little man.” I said. Beanie smiled and took off while quoting more
Shakespeare from his window and I began my walk home.
I turned down Park
street from Main and began my dreaded decent down the road. The snow had picked up, but it was light and
pleasant. I could see the shadow of
Finch Manor approaching. I began to
speed up. The shadow grew closer and my
speed grew faster. I reached the manor
and walked right passed it, but heard something and stopped. The crying sound was apparent but faint. “It’s all in your head you idiot” I told
myself. I heard it again, this time it
was louder. There is no question that
this was not in my head, and if it was no medication on Earth could save me. The crying was so clear and sad. It was that of a woman, young from the sound
of it. I walked backward and stared at
the house. My legs were trembling from
fear. “Ok Jake, Dad always says you need
some balls now’s the time” I said allowed to myself. I approached the house, unwillingly of
course. I had seen way too many cliché horror
films throughout the years, and I knew the second I opened that door I would be
murdered or dragged into some sort of demon nightmare. I reached the door and turned the knob. “What the hell are you doing Jake!?” I
thought to myself. This was stupid, and
scary, and a bad idea. Don’t be fooled,
there was no bravery here, just curiosity.
I walked in and was greeted by a moonlit room with a creepy staircase
leading into darkness. I could hear the
crying coming from a room to my right.
There were frames and furniture everywhere covered with giant white
sheets as to protect from dust. I walked
down a hallway toward the crying and spoke softly “Hello?” to which I received
no response. I continued walking and
entered what appeared to be a living room.
Sitting there on a sheet covered couch was a girl, around my age,
crying. There she was before me, the
crying girl I heard from the street…and she was beautiful.
